Front porches.

Long ago, house designers knew what they were doing. Before there was ever a toilet to replace the hole in the ground or a king-size pillow top instead of a bed of hay to rest our weary selves upon, there was a front porch. Those guys were smart. I know they added them on to the front of big old farmhouses to grab evening breezes that would be the only hope of cooling off during the long, hot days of Summer. But then they started building dwellings in groupings called "neighborhoods" and they put front porches on those houses too.

Again, so smart.

I live in one of those homes and 100 years or so later -- I still benefit from this space added right outside the front door.

There's so much to see, experience, learn -- from your front porch...
if you're just watching.

From my spot on the porch I've seen sorrow, love,
forgiveness, the fight for independence, reconciliation,
care of the earth, fear, rebellion, trust, and hope.

Yep, I've watched my neighbors (my friends) --
teach their kids how to ride their bikes, take care of their gardens,
pack a child to head out for college, leave a spouse (and then return just to leave again),
fight like crazy in the front yard, hug and kiss someone who's been gone for ages,
cook for each other, laugh like nobody's business, broken and weeping on their front step, and
sit together, quietly holding hands with someone they love.

ALL OF THAT, from my front porch.
And no, I wasn't being Gladys Cravitz -- I was just paying attention.

And then, sometimes when you're sitting on your porch, people stop by just to say "hello".
They'll sit awhile and tell you the latest, catch you up on what's been happening with the kids, and maybe share their story -- even if it's just a little bit.

Porches have a power no other "room" in the house does.

Sometimes, my front porch feels a little bit like my soul -- ready, open, willing and then sometimes "closed for business".

But the thing I love most about my porch is the invitation... "Come join me".

I'd like my soul to be an invitation too, one that says, "Come sit awhile, let's share the journey".

And if you need to borrow a cup of sugar -- I could probably hook you up with that too.

Words on the wrist.

Words are powerful things.
In fact, I've been in love with words and their capacity since I was a little girl.
Words like TRUST, HOPE, KNOW, LOVE.
Those words have absolutely changed my life.
They have moved me forward on my journey -- stepping out into the next right thing, taking a risk I never thought I would be able to, and believing in such an enormous way that sometimes it threatens to swallow me whole.
Which I think, is the point of believing.

But there have also been words that have laid me low.
Whether they were ever spoken out loud or I just chose them like so many charms on a damaging bracelet of shame, these words have gotten me stuck.
Liar. Broken. Unbelievable. No to be trusted.

Words.
The power to break us open to all that God has in store.
Or to break us down, slipping into a pit that makes us forget what has always been true.

Recently, I've decided to keep the words that are true about me -- close by.
Like literally on by body (see the picture!).
These are the words I "wear" on my wrists...
Faith.
Live the life you love.
Cancer is so limited...
and...
The secret things belong to the LORD our God,
but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever,
that we may follow all the words of this law. Deuteronomy 29:29

I like these words -- they help me remember, if I'm tempted to forget,
that I am God's girl and He always has and always will have my best in mind.

Enough.

Over the past couple of years I've had the privilege to celebrate "milestone" birthdays with some good friends. Each time, whether we've been in a big city or at the beach -- it's been a privilege to say to this dear one, in the presence of others who think she's special, "you are a gift to the world"! One of these trips was for my very own milestone birthday and I gotta tell you, there's nothing like being surrounded by LOVE. When you are intentional about the place and the people, this "being known" then has the chance to do its work. It finds its way into your bones and then, you end up waking up to what's always been true about you...

God has been dreaming about and for you, since you were being knit together in your mama's womb. A dream so big that nothing in your experience so far could ever have imagined it.

I hope I have lots of milestone celebrations left.
But for now, to the women I love...
Know this -- God's thinking about you right now and smiling.
You, just you, bring Him that much joy.
It's not what you've done or created or started or produced or achieved that He delights in.
It's you.
It always has been,
YOU always have been...
Enough.

Teachers and Students.

With school just around the corner, I'm thinking about my kids going back -- but I'm also thinking about the days when I stood in front of a classroom. I miss it almost every day. This Summer, I ran into a former student at the graduation of her younger brother. She's married now, making a significant contribution in her church and professional sphere. She is one of so many students who marked me deeply. Awhile back, I wrote this about her and every other student who called better things out of me...

I used to have students.
You know, like in a classroom, sitting at desks, me up front waxing eloquent on some topic I thought they just NEEDED to know to get them to the next level of learning.
I was sure I was teaching them so much.
Shaping young minds.
The thing I thought I would do the rest of my life.
Then I stopped.
Preparing lessons, going to a classroom, standing up front.
For almost 3 years I haven't been that person and I miss her.
Until today, I thought I knew what I missed.
I thought somehow it was connected to my love of learning and my passion to see that come alive in the next generation.
And while that may be part of it...
What I learned today, was that I miss them.
I miss the 18 year old, away from home for the first time.
Trying to figure out how not to be overwhelmed by college and yet look like he belongs.
I miss the 19 year old just figuring out that the mind REALLY is a terrible thing to waste and so she starts engaging hers, in discussions and conversations and matters that really matter.
I miss the 20 year old who wakes up one morning and realizes that she wants to make a difference for God's sake, at the same time her singleness is making her heart ache and she doesn't want it to matter so much.
I miss the 21 year old, with the "just ready to launch" look in his eye. Ready to take on the world, the church, his parents, the "system"...whatever - just ready.
I miss what they did for me and to me.
How they wrecked me for settling.
How they constantly made me laugh and want to pull my hair out.
How they called me to look for God in all the strangest places -- late papers, forgotten projects, missed appointments, and the most amazing "what-if" questions I've ever heard.
I learned all this today.
When I opened an email from a used to be 18 year old who's now a full-fledged grown-up person. With another degree, a great job, and a huge passion for living.
In the midst of her "catch up" email she taught me.
She told me thank you.
"Thank you for loving me.
Thank you for teaching me.
Thank you for challenging me.
Thank you for speaking truth."
Julia, it was my pleasure...
You're teaching me more than I ever taught you anyway.

Love.

So, I've been thinking a lot about LOVE.
Mostly I like it.
I like the things LOVE makes me do.
Like walking down the aisle toward a man I'm pretty sure I love, but 24 years later am certain has LOVEd me well. Or when I see someone or something I might have overlooked if LOVE hadn't grabbed me and turned me around.

I like the way LOVE makes me feel. Even when LOVE catches me off guard and makes my heart feel like its been turned inside out and squeezed in the middle.

I like the way LOVE makes me look, and really see...my neighbors, my family, my friends, & even strangers, with more clarity, more grace, more....LOVE.

But here's what I'm learning, in all my thinking about LOVE: I've got a long way to go. I've got MILES to walk until I really learn how to LOVE unselfishly, without regard for me and mine. I've got YEARS to live until my default is you and whatever it is that might be weighing you down.

But that's where Grace comes in. Just when I think I can't/won't take another step toward LOVE or I will never capture the moments that are right in front of me...

LOVE reaches out His hand and tells me to just breathe.
It is the magnitude of this LOVE, the vastness of it that can swallow me whole and yet hold me close -- for which I will always be grateful.

There's this old hymn by Frederick Lehman called The Love of God.
I haven't heard it sung in forever...

The love of God is greater far Than tongue or pen can ever tell... Could we with ink the ocean fill, And were the skies of parchment made, Were every stalk on earth a quill, And every man a scribe by trade; To write the love of God above Would drain the ocean dry; Nor could the scroll contain the whole, Though stretched from sky to sky.

Gotta go find my pen, for LOVE's sake.